Prologue: The Ship and the Shadow

* * *

Onward we go, down this endless road.

With armor and shield of love and courage.

With gun and sword of dreams and hope.

Even if the universe itself should perish.

* * *

My name's Kotoyorozu Kotoha. Just your average high school student.

...Or so I'd like to say, but I wasn't actually attending high school. Before I could even graduate middle school, I got kidnapped by a Mexican cartel, treated like a slave, and now that I'd become a liability, they stuck me on a ship to dump me somewhere. Calling myself "average" would be pretty damn shameless.

Is that kid really...

—The Whisperer?

One of the sailors swabbing the deck was scared of me. Even though I was the one in chains.

"Susurrador." That means "one who whispers."

These guys—Sangre Oculta, Hidden Blood—were one of Mexico's biggest cartels.

And here they were, sneaking peeks at some brat like me, too scared to look straight at me.

(Damn. My head's killing me... I feel like I'm dying.)

Being put on display like this, other people's thoughts forced their way into my head whether I wanted them or not. Other people's minds were poison. They churned through my brain, trying to take over my thoughts.

"Kotoha. Sorry about this."

Footsteps behind me. Leather shoes. The voice was quieter than the footsteps.

"...Rafa. Didn't know you were here."

Rafael Garcia. A tall, super muscular guy even though he was in his forties. He wore a black jacket, and beneath it, tattoos showed here and there.

"El Sobrino taking out the trash, huh? What a good nephew."

"I'm sorry, Kotoha. I tried to stop my uncle, but..."

If only I'd been able to convince him.

...But the boss's orders are absolute.

What an honest guy. Made me laugh. This guy's heart and words were always the same shape.

"Bottom line, the higher-ups got scared of you. Including my uncle. Kotoha, our family's expanded like crazy these past few years. Abnormally. And you played a big part in that. Too big. You can expose anyone's secrets. The dirty wishes of cops and politicians, the weaknesses of rival cartels. ...And all those secrets the family wants to keep buried."

Made sense, I guess. I was a ticking time bomb. A devil who peeked into hearts and whispered to the cartel. I could spark internal collapse, and if a rival organization got their hands on me, it'd be game over.

"...Kotoha. Why don't you ever beg for your life?"

"Huh?"

"You've always been like this. Since you came to us. Those dark eyes, hardly ever complaining, silently enduring orders and torture. I think of you as my friend, but I've never once heard you say 'help me.'"

That was...

"Why?"

Why? When I tried to think about it, sharp pain shot through my head. I murmured:

"...Because hope's never saved me. Not even once."

For a second, Rafa looked at me with eyes like he might cry, then quickly looked away.

On the surface of his mind, a little boy's face appeared. His son, who'd died of heart disease ten years ago. I kinda remembered him mentioning that if his son were still alive, he'd be my age now.

"It's gonna get hotter. Eat this."

With that, Rafa tossed a big candy into my mouth and left. Right. Despite that villain face and being a real villain, the guy had a crazy sweet tooth.

"...So sweet."

Under the vast Pacific sky, chained up like a slave, I kept sucking on that way-too-sweet candy.

"—That looks tasty. Can I have some?"

A voice made me jump. A girl's voice, light and bouncy.

"Mm, mmm... Phew, that was a good nap."

Stretching wide was a girl dressed all in black—black coat, black hair, black eyes. She'd been put on this ship with me and was knocked out the whole time. I'd totally thought she was a corpse.

"So, can I have some? The candy."

"Give you some...? I already started eating it, and I can't hand it over with these cuffs on."

"There's some left in your mouth, right? Say 'ahh.'"

She opened her mouth like a baby bird, waiting for something. Seriously?

(She's telling me to pass the candy from my mouth to hers?)

That was... I mean, it threw me off.

(I-I mean, it's been ages since I saw a girl!)

She looked about high school age too.

(But this girl... she's restrained even more than I am.)

I just had chains on my hands and feet, but she was tied up head to toe in a straitjacket. Like they were handling a wild lion or wolf.

"Hey, I'm waiting here!"

Still flustered, I moved my lips close to hers.

Because there wasn't any malice in her heart. Scary how there was nothing at all.

"Mm... there."

I rolled the sugar lump with my tongue and passed it into her mouth.

The candy, wet with spit, clinked softly against her front teeth.

That was my first kiss.

"Mmm! Sweet! Ahh ♡ I'm alive again ♡ That helped, thanks ♡"

"...Yeah. Me too. Glad I could do something 'good' at the end."

Without even asking what that meant, she just laughed.

(She's really pretty.)

Skin like silk. Soft-looking lips. Eyes like obsidian.

(I wish I could've actually been with a girl like her...)

Oh well.

"So, why are you a prisoner on this ship?"

"Knew too many secrets. So they're dumping me somewhere far away. Actually, probably selling me. Apparently I'll go for two billion dollars."

"Wow! That's amazing!"

How grateful~ she murmured, pressing her palms together. I couldn't help but laugh.

"What about you?"

"Made enemies in a lot of places. Screwed up, you know?"

"...What? You're cartel too?"

"Nope. I'm just—a Demon Lord."

Demon Lord. The girl in black smiled beautifully. I didn't get what she meant, but whatever.

"Lick lick. ...Mm. I'm recovered. Thanks. I'll give you the candy back, so open up."

"Nah, keep it a bit longer. Just eat it."

"No way. Look at you—your cheeks are totally sunken in, you look like you're about to die."

Before I could think about it, her face was already right there. I opened my mouth, and the candy—a bit smaller now—flowed in along with some of her spit.

"...Okay, this is a little embarrassing."

Seeing her face go red as she grinned made my cheeks suddenly hot.

...No, no. This wasn't the time for rom-com moments!

"So—aren't you going to escape?"

The girl who called herself Demon Lord stared at me with scarily clear eyes.

"If I could escape, I would. But look. Chains on my feet. Surrounded by dozens of cartel guys. Plus we're in the middle of the Pacific. No way."

"But you've gotta try, right?"

She laughed. She didn't seem like a blue-sky kind of girl.

"Even if you think it's impossible, even if there's almost no chance, trying's still 'better' than not trying, right? Think in numbers. Zero versus 0.0000001—the second one's bigger."

"...That's irresponsible. Cruel. Violent words."

"But that's what I'm gonna do."

That determined look made me laugh. Because everything was so damn hopeless.

"I've got something I absolutely have to do. I'm not letting some cheap despair or dead end finish my story."

"Something you have to do, huh."

"Don't you have anything? Something you really want to do in life?"

I thought about it. "Something I want to do" was way too bright a concept for someone who'd spent two years treated like livestock in a cramped basement of some huge Mexican mansion. But I could fantasize at least.

"Something I want to do... Actually, I already made a little of it come true just now."

She blinked back at me.

"So, I was locked up forever, right? But if I worked hard at stuff, they'd let me watch TV. And late at night, there'd be Japanese anime on. About an ordinary high school student who goes to school, meets girls, overcomes little problems. Just everyday life stuff."

"Yeah."

"...I wanted to be like that. Like a light novel main character. I wanted youth."

"Huh."

"Is that stupid?"

"...No. I get it."

When she said "I get it," I somehow felt like she really did. Because this girl in black obviously wasn't normal. We were probably the same kind of people.

"I see. So..."

She looked away slightly, bashful.

"Did I just play the heroine?"

"A little bit."

Sharing candy with a girl. First kiss. Kind of unusual, but still—youth.

That was my dream. My only dream. But dreams are called dreams 'cause they don't come true, right?

"What a waste! Being satisfied with just some mouth-to-mouth with an ugly girl like me!"

"...No, I think you're pretty cute."

"Bwuh."

She jumped back big, then:

"I-I don't think so, but..." fidget fidget

She fidgeted.

"Anyway! It's a waste! You want youth, right?! Making friends! Getting a girlfriend! Summer memories! Bittersweet romance! You want all that, right?! Then you can't give up! —If you throw away your dreams and hope, it's over."

Sounded like J-pop lyrics I heard as a kid.

What a cruel, scary person.

"Only idiots hold onto hope. You get hurt as much as you expect. That's fate."

"Fate? Are you a slave to fate?"

"A slave? Maybe more like a punching bag."

She looked at me with sad eyes.

"That's how you had to protect yourself, huh."

"...Then what's your 'thing you want to do'?"

Not that she could do it anymore anyway. Meaningless, worthless small talk.

But she—the Black Demon Lord—smiled without a shadow of doubt.

"—Destroying the universe!"

Right then, blue light burned my eyes.

It was a glowing light coming from her shadow.

"Wha...t...?"

"I want to destroy the world, see. The universe is just so annoying I can't stand it. Wouldn't it be amazing if everything alive just disappeared! That's what I think! So I decided to work super, super hard for that! Even if despair points fingers at me!"

What was she talking about?

I'm glad I got that candy. With even this tiny bit of energy—

I can still keep going.

I picked up her inner voice. It was a scary-dark, pitch-black, crazy emotion. I'd never felt a human heart this pure black before. ...No, was she even... human?

"Because, you see, I believe!"

Her shadow swelled massive. It glowed blue. No, that wasn't all. Geometric patterns. Her freely moving shadow was etched with patterns I'd never seen before.

"—That dreams will definitely come true someday!"

In that instant, the blue shadow streaked across the deck like a flash of light.

"Guh... gkh—"

At the end of its path was one of the sailors. His shadow began glowing blue. In the blink of an eye, the blue shadow pierced through its owner's body like a sewing machine. Blood sprayed across the deck.

"GYAAAAAAH!!"

The red-haired sailor screamed. The blue shadow had skewered him straight from mouth to anus, and he died.

"Stop! Stop! STOOOOOP!!"

A bearded sailor shrieked. He was crushed flat by a massive blue shadow. Flattened like a tortilla.

"What... the hell. What is this..."

The ship was a scene of carnage. Like an indiscriminate execution ground.

The dying thoughts of dozens of people invaded my mind whether I wanted them or not. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I'm scared. Help me. It hurts. No. Disgusting. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die.

Before I knew it, I was screaming. I screamed until my throat went raw.

"Poor thing."

Suddenly, something covered my head. It was—her arms. The girl who called herself Demon Lord.

"...I see. So you were like me all along. Fellow monsters. Something that couldn't become human. Something that yearned to be human. Strong Directionality. Something that will one day reach the Apocalypse."

"What... what is this... what's going on...?"

"Hey, you gotta smile. People like us have to struggle desperately, fight like our lives depend on it, just to earn the tiniest reward. No matter what we sacrifice. No matter how much we get hurt."

She held me gently.

"What... are you...?"

She laughed. A radiant smile like glittering stars.

"I am the Demon Lord! One who stands against the world! One who shall never be defeated! One who won't bow to the light!"

When—

The sunlight got blocked by clouds.

"Wha—"

—A giant shadow monster had split the sea in two.

Way bigger than any movie kaiju I'd seen. A monster that filled everything I could see, stretching to the horizon. The shadow looked bigger than the world.

"I won't give up on my dream! I'll never abandon hope!!"

The giant monster tore through the world and knelt. For that small, black Demon Lord.

The girl moved to get on the monster's arm, but first ripped off my leg chains with pure strength.

"—That's what I'm gonna do. —What will you do?"

She laughed with that bouncy voice.

(What will I do? What will I do, she asks?)

Because. I'd worked so hard at giving up.

Telling myself hope's pointless. That effort won't save me.

That if I couldn't win anyway, I might as well keep a straight face and ride it out.

(But this girl, in like ten seconds—)

Wiped out the guys I was scared of every single day. The girl I thought was like me. The girl I thought was a fellow loser.

(Truth is, I also—)

In my head, I was fighting like her too.

But I was scared. Just scared.

"Damn... damn... damn...!"

"Why are you crying?"

"I... I don't know... I don't know, but... damn...!!"

Rage filled my heart. Didn't know why.

"...Because... I'm... weak..."

Pathetic, whiny words leaked out, and my cheeks got hot.

"Then get strong."

Her smile was so pretty. That pure black, unmixed color that'd paint over everything—for a second, I wanted to touch it. Ah, I—I fell for her.

"I hope your dream comes true."

Without thinking, I just nodded.

I nodded. Without thinking what it even meant.

"Whether you reach your youth or I reach the end—it's a race."

The Black Demon Lord gave a gentle smile.

"That makes us enemies!"

—The shadow monster's arm wrapped around the ship. With heavy cracks, the ship slowly fell apart. I held on desperately to the railing on the now-vertical deck.

"Bye-bye. See you later. Let's both do our best. Both of us, okay?"

I wanted to say something as she grinned, but couldn't find the words.

She rode away on the shadow monster. I was thrown into the air by the churning waves.

(None of this makes sense.)

I thought that from the bottom of my heart.

(Screw this.)

Didn't understand anything. But that's what I thought.

What I did get was that I'd end up as fish food at this rate.

(So what do I do?)

Keep making that dark face like always, letting fate punch me over and over?

(I don't want that.)

Me too—

(I wanted to fight like that Demon Lord too.)

Not fair, I thought.

(Ah, I—gotta survive.)

The moment I hit the water, I got it. What I had to do. Who to fight.

"Fate." I had to beat the crap out of it.

Just like that Demon Lord marched toward destroying the world without flinching.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH...!!"

I screamed and started swimming.

(So pathetic. So lame.)

All that's here now is me and the ocean. Refreshingly simple—just one enemy.

I clawed through the seawater, kicked it away. Found some drifting wood and held onto it.

"I'm... not... a punching bag...! I'm alive! I'm going to live!"

Probably impossible. Middle of the Pacific. I'd die with no one finding me.

But I was sick of leaving it to fate. Done with all of it. No more bowing to some smug "destiny."

(I'm gonna... make my dream come true...)

I wanted to make friends like a normal high school student.

I wanted to go to school like a normal high school student.

I wanted to fall in love like a normal high school student.

(—Like a light novel main character.)

I steeled myself—and saw "it."

"......"

No way.

"......Ah... ah..."

No way.

"AAAAH!! DAMMIT!! SCREW THIS!! SCREW THIS!! SCREW THIS!! What the hell are you!? You laughing!? Having fun!? You happy now!? Huh!? Hey! Answer me, asshole!"

I kicked the seawater. The overwhelming ocean. Kept kicking in rage.

When I got there, I grabbed "it," stuck it under my arm, and swam back.

"Puhah."

"It"—Rafael Garcia. The muscular guy apparently couldn't swim well; he held onto the thin board, breathing hard.

"Kh...!"

This board couldn't hold two people. The ship's wreckage was already way off. Finding another float meant risk.

Or I could just ditch Rafa.

If it was just one person—just me—I could hang onto this board.

(Ah. I'm not that type of guy.)

I see. So in situations like this, I put saving others first. Ditching someone I know to save myself was just... unthinkable. Not even an option. Good job, me.

That was salvation. Saved me so much I could cry.

"Wait! Kotoha!"

Rafa shouted from the board behind me. Didn't look back.

"I... I abandoned you! I was supposed to be the one to save you! I was the only one who could! But I—! I was scared! I was a coward! I... I don't deserve to be saved by you!"

He screamed desperately, this guy who always spoke so quiet. I smiled a bit.

(What do you know, Rafa. We were the same this whole time.)

...Hey, I'm not doing that anymore.

Whether it's God or fate.

I'll struggle and fight and punch my way through, and I'll make my dream come true.

"Rafa. Those carne asada tacos you always gave me. They were great."

"...Koto... ha..."

"Teach me the recipe someday."

"...!"

I took on the huge ocean. A battle against fate.

Rafa's desperate voice got drowned out by the ocean's roar.

Nothing around me.

Live. Live. Keep living. Make my dream come true no matter what.

Gradually, I hit my limit.

My fingers lost their strength.

Swallowed tons of seawater, and my lungs stopped working right.

I reached up, but couldn't touch the sky anymore.

Before I knew it, I lost even the strength to surface.

(Live... I'm going... to live...)

I kept swimming toward my dream.

Suddenly—like a thread snapping—my vision closed.

(Damn it... I'm not... dying here...)

(Not... dy...ing...)

(N...)

..................

And so, I died.

* * *

■

* * *

When I was a kid, I was at a temple.

Back then, everyone looked like an enemy. Because seeing people's hearts meant seeing all the bad stuff.

No way a kid going through puberty, unloved, exposed only to people's malice, wouldn't end up twisted.

"Yo, kid. You look wrecked. Lost another fight?"

"Shut up, old man."

The head priest looking after me was this weird old guy who gathered up neighborhood delinquents and kids who couldn't fit in, and lived with them.

"Old man. Teach me more boxing."

The old man was wild when he was young, but cleaned up when he became a pro boxer. Though he didn't have the talent and ended up taking over his family temple.

A black-and-white photo from back then hung in the living room, and I thought it was pretty cool.

"I wanna get stronger."

"...And what will you do once you're strong?"

"You know, right? Old man. Those kids bullying Micchan. They say they're just 'messing around,' but they throw her backpack in the trash, mix chalk in her lunch. It's the worst. Just because Micchan can't talk."

"I see."

"She can't talk, but she's crying. She's really crying all the time."

Micchan's a girl three years younger who came to the temple after me. She can't speak well, and she's so scared of being laughed at she always keeps quiet. She's such a kind girl. A girl who brings me wild strawberries from the road.

"Fine, kid. I'll teach you how to hit people as much as you want."

"...! Yeah."

"But what you really want to know is..."

The old man patted my head. Palm thick like a boxing glove.

Children. I'd do anything for your happiness.

Please, God. Please don't take anything more from them.

—The old man always looked at us carrying this huge sadness. He never lied. He was the first adult like that I ever met.

"Kid. You're gonna have a hard life. Way harder than most people."

"...So what?"

"So I agree you should get strong. But someday, no matter how much you train your fists, you'll hit an enemy you can't beat—some crazy monster blocking your way."

I didn't get it at all.

Because the old man was the strongest person in my world.

"So... when that happens..."

The old man grinned. A wrinkly smile.

"—You gotta stay a good person."

"...What do you mean?"

"When things are hard and painful, people can't help turning nasty. They try to hurt others 'cause they're hurting, or they think it's someone else's fault and lash out at whoever's around."

"...Yeah."

"But you. You have to stay good."

That's awful. Why just me? I thought. The old man laughed.

"Because if someone doesn't break the cycle... it never ends, right?"

"Like Othello?"

"Yeah. No matter how much black surrounds you, you gotta stay white. People like me, and like you."

Why'd the old man think that? But being lumped in with him made me kinda proud, and I just nodded.

"Okay. I don't really get it, but. Yeah. I get it."

The old man smiled and said "I see." I wanted to be like him. I wanted to be a good person.

I wanted to be. I was supposed to want to be.

Abandoned. Beaten. Whipped. Left on the ground for days.

I stopped being a good person.

I became a convenient tool for those scumbag cartel guys.

Because of me, so many people suffered and got hurt.

And surely among them were kids like Micchan.

Hey, old man. What face would you make if I went to hell?

I'm sorry. I couldn't keep my promise. I'm sorry.

* * *

"...up."

Someone was shaking my body.

"Wake up."

I was supposed to have died, become fish food. So whoever was calling me had to be a demon from hell.

"Wake up. Kotoyorozu Kotoha-kun."

—Frilly headband. That was what leaped into my vision when I opened my eyes.

"Oh. Good morning."

Looking down at me with a smile was an older girl wearing a baggy light-blue tracksuit, a pure white apron, and a frilly headband.

"Kotoyorozu-kun. How are you feeling?"

A lazy-looking gaze. Makeup with faint red around her eyes. Ears absolutely loaded with piercings. If I'd been in my right mind, she'd be the type of woman I'd be too scared to approach.

Wait. My brain couldn't keep up with the situation.

(Where am I...? This definitely doesn't feel like hell. If anything... heaven?)

I looked around. It was a majestic temple. Paintings of an unfamiliar religion covered the ceiling. Milky-white pillars as massive as ancient cedar trees supported the roof.

"Well... glad to see you're doing okay. What a relief."

The tracksuit maid let out a sigh of relief, her frills swaying.

Phew. What a drag. At least the resurrection worked.

Don't wanna deal with all the complaints otherwise.

I could tell something was going on, but honestly, I didn't have the mental bandwidth to peek into her thoughts right now.

"...Where is this?"

"This is... uh, what was it again. I think it was 'The Temple of Persione-sama, Goddess of Fate and Reincarnation'? I'm kinda dumb, so I don't really know much. But you got called by Persione-sama and have been granted the honor of an audience or something like that."

"Goddess...?"

That was, well, a pretty outlandish claim. I almost laughed, and then—

"—You've awakened, human."

A voice that resonated from the pit of my stomach, like an opera singer.

(Whoa... seriously?)

I turned my gaze toward the back of the temple. A goddess with emerald hair stood there. Goddess? Well, I didn't know for sure. But she had enough presence that I could guess.

"I'm sorry to have startled you. We have been watching you."

"Watching...?"

"It's unfortunate about the ship capsizing. But you performed a good deed."

Was she talking about saving Rafa?

"You did indeed die. This time, I have summoned your soul. Please, I beg of you. Won't you extend your radiant courage to save this world?"

The goddess murmured and waved her finger. A stone tablet descended from the ceiling, and on it was projected a strangely vivid image of another world. It looked medieval, but among the people were beast-folk, elves, and adventurers who looked like mages.

"I-I think I've heard of this. Is this... isekai reincarnation?"

"Young people these days catch on quickly. How helpful."

"I used to read a lot of it back in middle school..."

Satake-kun from the class next door used to recommend web novels to me. I was more into light novel rom-coms, but I remembered having fun talking about them.

Wait. Really? Did something like this actually exist? Like something out of a light novel?

"Then let me bestow upon you a wonderful skill."

"See, that's exactly what I mean by light novel stuff!"

"I have everything. Super Experience Gain, Immortality, Physical Enhancement, Infinite Mana. Skill Absorption, Adaptive Evolution. Time Manipulation, All-Element Magic, Healing Hands, Enhancement Fusion, Language Translation, Invincible Shield, Monster Taming, Domain Control, Universal Alchemy, Summoning Mastery. Oh, Skill Duplication would be nice too. Spatial Teleportation? Invisibility? If you like naughty things, perhaps Hypnosis? Gravity Control is quite convenient as well..."

"...Let me think about this for a second."

I took a small deep breath, then:

"Is this a dream? Or some variant of my life flashing before my eyes?"

I asked the tracksuit maid.

"Want me to pinch your cheek?"

"Please."

"Squiiish~"

The tracksuit maid pinched my cheek.

"Hehe, funny face. Cute."

"......"

Having an older girl laugh at me from that close made me turn red with embarrassment.

No, wait. My cheek hurt. That was the important part. Focus, idiot. This situation didn't seem to be a dream. The textures and presence of everything around me felt strangely real.

(... So I've been given another chance? Through isekai reincarnation?)

—I remembered something Rafa once told me.

"Treasure lying in the desert always has a snake hiding underneath."

Yeah, what she was saying was way too good to be true.

(I should peek into the goddess's mind.)

I focused on the area around my heart. That was the image I invoked when trying to read someone deeply. I observed the goddess's inner sounds and colors, stealing glimpses.

"......"

The goddess's heart was—filled with kindness and compassion.

She genuinely seemed to care about me and want to make me happy.

She knew about my miserable circumstances and sincerely wanted my next life to be enjoyable.

"Are you satisfied?"

The goddess smiled gently. She seemed to have known all along that I'd peek into her heart.

I couldn't help but feel ashamed of myself.

"...I'm sorry. Could you tell me more? About this, uh, isekai reincarnation? And about the skills too."

The goddess smiled and told me many things.

* * *

■

* * *

After hearing everything from the goddess, I walked outside the temple to organize my thoughts.

(... The world is apparently way more complicated than I thought.)

When I tilted my head up, the sky held a galaxy shaped like nothing I'd ever seen. According to the goddess, the planet I stood on—barely five kilometers in radius—was in a galaxy about 190,200 light-years from Earth, one of several relay stations connecting multiple dimensions.

Apparently, they operated to recycle the good souls of dead humans who possessed "radiant courage."

(Radiant courage, huh...)

"Ah. Kotoha-kun. There you are."

"Um... you are?"

"...Hm? Me? Luna. I'm like a servant, or a maid, or a slave... basically someone who works here."

The tracksuit maid smiled with those mysterious eyes of hers. She seemed kind of scary after all, I thought. She had the presence of a predatory creature, like a snake or a bird of prey.

"Here you go. You must be hungry, right?"

"...! Thank you."

What Luna-san handed me was a rice ball with pickled plum. Never thought I'd be eating Japanese food in heaven after all this time. Well, I'd pretty much resigned myself to never eating it again before I died anyway.

"Good?"

"Yeah, it's great."

She smiled and lit a cigarette. Seven Stars. The same brand my mother used to smoke. The heavy cigarette suited the lazy-looking tracksuit maid strangely well.

"Do people come to this temple often?"

When I asked, Luna-san thought for a moment.

Oops, what should I do. Is he interested in that kind of thing? Nah, just small talk.

Right. My thoughts. Gotta clear my mind. This kid can peek into hearts, wasn't it.

She exhaled cigarette smoke as she murmured:

"Let's see. About four or five people a month, maybe? That goddess over there is actually pretty picky, so. People with 'radiant courage' aren't exactly common."

"Ha. I don't think I have any either."

A dry laugh escaped me. Because it was true, right? I'd been with the cartel, and I never once had the courage to fight back. I'd desperately obeyed them because I didn't want to get beaten.

"I can see people's hearts, you know. So... well, I was super good at interrogations. Ha. So I'd... expose lies and stuff... That was my job a lot of the time."

"Yeah."

"They told me to find the guy leaking info to the cops. So I exposed him... His daughter's birthday was that day. She was five. Five years old... and it was her birthday... I-I didn't know..."

Luna-san lit a second cigarette.

"Because I... because I exposed the lie... th-those guys... drove an armed vehicle... to the party venue... There were other kids there too. A clown... mothers... they didn't care. ...I saw the scene on the news. It was... it was so... horrible... so horrible..."

Susurrador. The Whisperer. A guy who kept selling people out because he was scared of getting beaten. A guy who couldn't believe he was stuck in this hell, so he desperately watched anime to escape reality.

"So I don't have any radiant courage. Being told I'm saved because I did something good... it doesn't make sense to me. Because if God existed, I'd definitely be going to hell, right?"

So, maybe... maybe I wasn't allowed to be happy.

"It couldn't be helped. You were just a kid."

Luna-san placed her palm on my head and—gently stroked it.

"You shouldn't keep thinking about sad things all the time."

The baggy sleeve of her tracksuit brushed against my forehead. I almost started crying.

I was remembering the old man's wrinkled smile. Luna-san looked nothing like him. But still, I felt a strange sense of nostalgia.

...Such a sad child. He's still young enough that he should be getting hugs from adults.

Ah... I'm going to... this kid... No, stop. Don't think about it.

Her heart seemed strangely sad. As sad as mine, maybe more.

I didn't want her to feel any sadder, so I brought up something positive.

"Isekai reincarnation... Actually, I'm really looking forward to it."

"Oh really? Hehe, what about it?"

"Because this is my chance to finally become a good person... I want to be a good person. Just an ordinary good person. Someone who can make crying kids laugh... After all the horrible things I've done... I want to do as many good things as I can..."

That sounded nice. That kind of youth, where I could hold my head high in front of anyone.

If I worked hard in another world, could I become someone like that?

"...haaah..."

She exhaled purple smoke.

"You didn't do horrible things. They made you do them, right?"

"It's the same thing."

"It's not! It's totally different...!"

Her expression twisted. She stared at me with a face that looked ready to cry.

"You... you're..."

Luna-san started to say something, then desperately swallowed her words.

"...Heh. You really are just a kid."

"That's mean!"

Luna-san crushed her cigarette underfoot.

Don't think don't think don't think don't think don't think don't think don't think don't think don't think.

She was desperately hiding something. Like a girl on the verge of tears.

* * *

■

* * *

"Thank you for everything, Goddess-sama."

Back in the temple, I finalized things with the goddess.

"...Are you truly certain about this?"

I'd decided not to accept any abilities from her. In my next life, I wanted to live as an ordinary person, unaffected by my special traits, as an ordinary good person—

"I just want an ordinary youth."

My "Whisperer" ability would apparently disappear once I went to the other world. What a relief.

"Then—Door, come forth!"

When the goddess spoke, a massive door appeared at the back of the temple. A door covered in magnificent carvings and mystical light. Were the images carved on it the stories of heroes who once existed?

"What's that?"

"The Door of Dimensions!"

According to her, this door connected to countless other dimensions—a door of wisdom and reincarnation. It was clearly alien, and I instinctively understood it was something fundamentally opposed to humanity.

"Safe travels, Kotoyorozu Kotoha-san. —May your second life be wonderful!"

When the door opened, light like blue silk spilled into the room. I sensed a strong feeling of "hope."

—Along with an even stronger sense of "guilt."

Ah, there goes another one.

I... can't do anything.

A tearful shade of emotion. It came from Luna-san. She stood there desperately avoiding my gaze, sweat beading on her skin. Not a trace of that gentle smile from before.

"Um."

I stopped and looked at the goddess.

"Can I ask one more time? What's beyond this door?"

"Beyond this door, you will be reincarnated as a hero of a kingdom. A nation in a vast land surrounded by beautiful nature. Composed of lush forests, peaceful villages, and majestic mountains. What you choose and what you seek is entirely up to you."

"...I see."

I looked at Luna-san. She flinched.

Beyond there is the Boundary Region Trading Company's...

"Boundary Region Trading Company?"

"...!"

Luna-san's face went pale, and she clamped her mouth shut.

"Kotoyorozu-san. You must respect people's privacy."

"...Goddess-sama. What's the Boundary Region Trading Company?"

"Does it matter?"

Of course it did.

"Let me make you a promise. Once you pass through this door, you will surely reach a wonderful future. There may be some trials and hardships awaiting you, but in the end, you will definitely achieve a happy ending. That is the law of this world. From the bottom of my heart, with pure goodwill, I recommend that you pass through."

—That was her true feeling. No lies whatsoever.

I looked at the maid—at Luna-san.

"What... should I do...?"

"I-I... I don't... know anything..."

A powerful image of fear flooded her heart.

Nothing will change anyway. I'll just get hurt more.

So surely, this kid too. If he doesn't know anything—

Her intense fear almost made me throw up. I fought it down and looked at her.

"...I don't want to not know anything."

"Eh—"

"I don't want to... get beaten down by fate anymore, grinning and begging for forgiveness..."

Luna-san's eyes darted around. Her face grew paler by the second. Sweat mixed in.

She was terrified. On the verge of tears. Her body trembled in tiny shivers.

"Listen..."

Luna-san clenched her fists tight and took a deep breath.

"...Kotoha-kun. I still don't really know you very well, you know."

"Yeah."

"Wanting to be a good person—that's wonderful. I want to be one too."

"Huh?"

"You're right. Being made to do something and doing something yourself. They're the same..."

For an instant, a terribly gentle color mixed into the shape of her heart.

...This kid, he really is just a kid. Adults have to protect him...

A child with nothing like this... someone has to save him... even a nobody like me...

She pursed her lips tight—and pointed her index finger behind me.

"Hurry. ...Run..."

A massive stone tablet crushed Luna-san.

"............Huh?"

It had suddenly fallen from the ceiling.

"Oh, Luna. No matter how many times, she never learns. That's why she's so amusing to keep around."

A sickening squelch. She was crushed from the waist down, and a gross oily smell filled the air. A faint groan of agony escaped her lips. The horrible presence of someone dying.

"Kotoyorozu-san."

The goddess smiled.

"—Please trust me."

I broke into a full sprint. —God, what an idiot I'd been.

(She was just like me.)

Luna-san had been deeply afraid of something. The goddess's power. Luna-san knew—she was the kind of existence that would be immediately disposed of if she didn't obey.

(She was just like me, and yet!)

I remembered her stroking my head.

Small hands. Nothing like those big glove-like palms, and yet somehow so similar.

"There is nowhere to run, Kotoyorozu-san."

Squelch.

Squelch, squelch, squelch, squelch. Squelch, squelch, squelch, squelch.

A sound like flesh crawling. At the source of the sound was the reincarnation door.

"What... the hell is that..."

—A "mass of flesh" was there.

Ahaha. Ahaha. Ahaha. Ahaha.

From beyond the door the goddess had called the Door of Fate, a massive lump of flesh was expanding.

So fun. So happy. So scary. So fun.

The surface of the flesh was covered with countless human faces. All of them were smiling.

"They" were truly happy. I could tell better than anyone.

I'm so happy.

I realized what the mass of flesh was, and a chill ran down my spine.

(That's a meatball made of hundreds—thousands—of people.)

It had been waiting. For me to pass through the "isekai reincarnation door."

If I'd gone through, I would have become one with that meatball.

My soul kept alive. Forever dreaming of "adventuring in another world."

Come join us.

I leaped back on reflex—

Let's be happy together.

The mass of flesh extended at high speed through the air. It caught my leg in an instant.

"GYAH!!"

The moment I was caught, my flesh began to melt. Not just melt—it was assimilating. They were trying to absorb me into the mass of flesh.

"Let go! Let—GO!!"

My left foot dissolved up to the ankle as I was dragged toward the door.

"It's alright. Trust me. All people have an equal right to happiness, after all."

The goddess smiled gently. She genuinely wanted to make me happy.

"Guh... hhh...!!"

Beyond the door, flesh and faces were packed tight. All of them smiled happily, savoring endless dreams. Enjoying an eternal happy ending.

I struggled desperately. Punched. Kicked. Bit. I refused to become one of these monsters!

"Let me tell you something good before the end."

The goddess murmured, seemingly pitying my pathetic desperation.

"Fate is called fate—precisely because it can never be changed."

If that were true—

Was I born just to suffer and cry?

"—Lights! Camera! Action!!"

And that was exactly why.

Because fate was such an overwhelming monster.

There were tiny people who resisted desperately.

Warriors who marched forward with a smile, chasing dreams far beyond their station.

What begins now is the story of those people.

No matter how powerful the monster they faced, they'd laugh their heads off while barely clinging to life.

A story of absolute lunatics.

"Fate is me! I myself am the Destiny of the universe! I alone am honored in heaven and on earth!"

—Gunshot.

"...Huh?"

The bullet tore away the flesh clinging to my leg, and I slammed into the wall from the momentum.

"Now then — the show must go on, shall we?"

I was dumbfounded. Because the pink-haired girl had a spotlight on her. Not a metaphor. Not a hallucination. Light was shining down on her from a sky where nothing should exist.

"Music!"

Clanging rock and roll music started playing. An ultra-hit song from ten years ago. Explosive volume. Flowing bassline. A string of ridiculous lyrics.

"Can you dance? If you suck, then get blown away!"

What the pink girl swung was a guitar. Not just any guitar, of course. A ridiculous Les Paul with a huge jet engine attached, spewing red flames as it swung at Mach 3 and smashed into the goddess.

"...My, human. You have such cheap taste in music."

The goddess wasn't even chipped. The pink girl's leg got caught by flesh extending from another angle.

"Kyah!"

"—Covering."

Another gunshot. The bullet pierced the flesh clinging to the pink girl's leg.

"Leader. Please don't charge in alone. You really are an idiot."

"Sorry, sor—did you just call me an idiot?"

Far in the back of the temple stood a dark-haired, tan-skinned girl. She held a gun about the size of a small dinosaur, swinging it around effortlessly as she started covering the pink girl.

"Leader. Pigment identification: Category-PURPLE—artificial Anti-Reality. Potential at Crescita."

"Roger. So that's the Soul Accumulator! Go go go go! Start the annihilation!"

At her command, girls wielding vivid guns stormed into the temple. Maybe ten or twenty of them? They moved with practiced precision, opening fire on the mass of flesh and the goddess.

(What... the hell...? Who are they—)

"Civilian over there! Are you hurt?"

A girl with light purple hair in twin tails looked down at me. A small, cute girl with the vibe of a small animal. I glanced at my own horribly painful leg.

"GYAAH! His foot! It's melting! Gross! Blub blub blub blub..."

The small-animal-type girl started treating my ankle while foaming at the mouth.

"Who... are you people...?"

The girl smiled.

"—The Apocalypse Stagnation Committee. A bunch of idiots who insist on protecting a world that's already finished!"