Episode 5: Embrace Hundun

* * *

When I opened my eyes, I found myself beneath a blue-violet sky, surrounded by enormous gemstones.

"...You awake, Kotoyorozu Kotoha?"

A dry wind slapped against my cheeks. Beautiful, yet somehow lonely. Fine, reddish-brown sand stretched across the ground, gemstones as massive as mountains, and not a single man-made structure in sight. No matter how you looked at it, this was an alien world.

"Wh-where is this...?"

"Inside Hundun. A space that can make what isn't into what is. Here, everything exists and nothing exists. Completely meaningless, completely worthless—a graveyard for stories."

The girl standing before me wasn't wearing a cheongsam—instead, she had her face wrapped in a scarf like a desert nomad. But her face was unmistakably Wu Xihan's.

Only her eyes were different. Strangely sharp.

"...You seem kinda different from before?"

"That's the first thing that bothers you after arriving here? ...Well, that's just the way it is. Because of your ability, for better or worse, other people are always at the center. You can't help but fixate on others."

"...!"

I'd reflexively read her mind.

It's no use reading my mind, Kotoyorozu Kotoha. Look me in the eyes.

I fell backward in surprise, landing on my butt. The fine-grained ground crunched softly beneath me.

"H-how do you know about my Apocalypse?! Did President Elif tell you?!"

"...I can tell just from watching your face. Even when nobody's talking, your micro-expressions keep moving. That's because you're reading the unspoken emotions of the person in front of you. It's a telltale sign of a humanoid entity with psychic-type Anti-Reality. I figured it was a Gunscar ability, but—so it's an Apocalypse, huh?"

What was with this person? She'd been goofing around just moments ago. Now she had the dark eyes of a seasoned warrior. The dry wind rippled through her scarf, and she continued, looking bored.

"The 'Four Fierce Beasts (Megalomania)' is a Gunscar that strongly reflects my mental nature—specifically, my four personalities."

"...Four personalities?"

"Wu Xihan had far too complex a set of passive traits. A single personality couldn't bear it all. The only way she could sustain her existence was by constantly sleeping, turning away from reality, and distributing the burden across four personalities."

A sad, resolute look filled her eyes.

"I'm one of Wu Xihan's personalities. For convenience, call me San."

"...San-senpai, then. Got it."

San Xihan didn't crack even a hint of a smile as she raised her fists. Like a martial arts master.

"Show me what you can do. Time is limited."

"R-right... yes!"

That's right. I'd come here to train. My opponent in the Representative Battle—Fiddler. He controlled feathers and was a formidable enemy. As I was now, I didn't see how I could win.

(But will this be okay? I'm pretty confident in a fistfight.)

In terms of hand-to-hand combat alone, I shouldn't have been outclassed by anyone at Azure Academy. I settled into an upright stance.

"You asleep or something?"

"—Huh?"

San-senpai vanished from right in front of me—she'd dropped into a ground-hugging stance, extending her leg outward. It swept my feet like a sickle cutting grass, and my entire field of vision flipped upside down.

"And there you have it. Match over."

"—!"

San-senpai's small foot stamped through my skull. In that instant, cerebrospinal fluid splattered everywhere, and I died without so much as feeling it in my fingertips.

"Gah—! Gah—! Hff—! Hff—!"

"On your guard, Kotoyorozu Kotoha."

"...Huh? Wha—? ...Huh?"

Before I knew it, I was standing there again. Right in front of San-senpai, who had her fists raised like a master. As if nothing had happened. As if the last five seconds had been fast-forwarded and skipped.

"Wh-what just happened? I died, but—could this world be some kind of simulator?"

"It's nothing so boring. Inside Hundun, what 'isn't' can become what 'is.' You just died once and your life became something that 'wasn't.' Therefore, it could be made into something that 'is' again."

So... I'd actually died? Just now? For real? I reflexively pressed my hand to my chest. My heart was pounding furiously with agitation, asserting the vitality of being alive.

"Just from that, I can already see your weakness."

"...What is it?"

"You're empty. You don't believe in your own worth. You treat your own life cheaply."

It wasn't a bad thing, San-senpai said, shaking her head.

"You hate yourself, so you're running away from facing yourself. That's fine—if you weren't a student at this academy. Because you can't use your Gunscar, can you? If you want to use your Gunscar—"

Energy surged through San-senpai's entire body.

"—you face yourself. You fight the ugliest part of who you are."

The moment she murmured those words, a man appeared. Hideously ugly, wretched, pathetic—the kind of guy who'd probably be better off dead. He looked exactly like me.

(That's... myself. The shadow of my heart?)

The shadow-black copy of me settled into an upright stance and raised its fists.

"Fight yourself, Kotoyorozu Kotoha."

I realized this training was going to be anything but simple.

* * *

My—Pham Thi Lan's—training exercise ended that afternoon.

"Phew... Frustrating as it is, for now let's acknowledge the other academies' performance."

The one who muttered that was Arav, the insufferable brown-skinned man.

"Next time we're totally not losing!"

PM was so exhausted he could barely move, mumbling from his seat on the bench in the waiting room.

(Our three-person exercise hadn't exactly gone well. We'd only completed about sixty percent of our objectives, and the other two academies had snatched all the best opportunities from us.)

That said, we were a team of One Wing first-years. Going up against upperclassmen, you could say we'd done reasonably well.

"Man, the way you made that call right there—"

PM and Arav had already blended in with students from the other academies, chatting away like old friends. They say guys bond fast once they've fought each other, and I supposed that was what this was.

(A little envious, honestly. Not really my style, though.)

I turned my back on them and reached for the waiting room door.

"Hm? Where are you going, Class Rep?"

"Work. I'm going to help the Arboreal Knights seniors."

Arav gave me a look that said you should take a break, while PM's expression told him just let her do what she wants. Honestly, they were both way too good of people. It was making me hate myself.

"Well then, see you."

I left the waiting room and started walking down the arena corridor. Apparently about two million people had come to District 6 to watch this Sky Tournament. This corridor was supposed to be restricted to athletes, but it was still packed with people.

"Understood. I'll head over right away."

While contacting my seniors via Linphone, I pulled out my acacia mask—the symbol of the Arboreal Knights. The acacia mask was a badge of the oath to abandon the self and devote yourself to justice.

"..."

Justice. I'd loved that word since I was a child. It wasn't that I admired some cape-wearing weirdo cackling on a rooftop. I just thought that if there was a white side and a black side, I wanted to be on the white side.

(I've always had this strange delusion.)

A stupid delusion that hadn't stopped since childhood.

(I feel like I'm getting something wrong. Like I'm being made to get something wrong. Like there's always some 'gray' mixed into my world, which should be pure white.)

I wanted to make everything white. I wanted to correct every mistake.

(That's why I can't forgive Apocalypses.)

...Or so I believed. Probably. Even I wasn't entirely sure.

"Hey, you! You just swiped my wallet, didn't you?!"

"I-I didn't do anything like that!"

A disturbance. I put on my acacia mask and looked for the source of the voices.

"What happened here?"

"This guy—catch him! He pickpocketed my wallet!"

An angry middle-aged man pointed at a tall, narrow-eyed man in a mild-mannered black outfit. The man looked troubled, his eyebrows knitting into a sheepish V, smiling awkwardly as if trying to smooth things over.

"The thing that was taken—a wallet, correct?"

"Huh? Yeah."

I gave a light flick of my hand.

"—Search, Hound. Target: 'wallet.'"

* * *

[Hound] [Gunscar]

A Gunscar that "always hits." A flintlock musket. Fires a bullet that unfailingly strikes whatever target Pham Thi Lan designates. If an obstacle lies in its path, the bullet passes through it.

* * *

A long, slender gun materialized in my hand. I aimed at the ground and pulled the trigger. With a bang, a lead ball shot out, turned transparent the moment it hit the floor, and vanished—only to reappear a short distance away less than two seconds later.

"Found the wallet. Looks like it had fallen under a chair."

The Hound's bullet had flipped the wallet up from the ground. It landed neatly in my palm, and I handed it back to the man who owned it. He looked startled, then awkwardly offered thanks and an apology before leaving.

"Th-thank you so much!"

The tall, narrow-eyed man held out his hand for a handshake, his face filled with relief.

(Someone from the Chaos Institute, maybe?)

Something about his vibe just gave me that impression.

"It's nothing. This is my job."

"You're from Azure Academy, aren't you? What a wonderful Gunscar you have!"

That familiar friendliness. That easy warmth. Yep, definitely someone from the Chaos Institute.

"Please, let me thank you—"

The narrow-eyed man smiled. I was a security guard. I didn't need thanks, and something about him felt like he had an ulterior motive. So I started to shake my head before he could finish—

"—Have you ever felt like you were being controlled?"

"...—"

I didn't understand why. But I was at a loss for words.

"Or perhaps that something is wrong. That something needs to be corrected. That the current world is broken. Have you ever felt that? With no clear reason. Instinctively."

"Wh... at... are you..."

It felt like a bullet had pierced my heart. He knew. The core of who I was. My deepest fear. The entire reason I existed. This feeling that no one—not a single person—had ever understood.

"I am a missionary who preaches to fools like you. A leader who commands warriors like you. And a guiding light for the lost, like you."

For an instant, the man's gentle smile seemed to distort.

"Please, call me Maestro. If you'd like, shall we talk for a bit?"

I found myself captivated by that expression—equal parts devil and angel.

* * *

—And so, my forehead had been blown clean through. For the seventy-fourth time.

"Gah—"

I should have had my brains splattered everywhere, but when I came to, I was just standing there like nothing had happened. Meanwhile, the copy of me—the "shadow me"—dissolved into sand and vanished.

"...Kotoyorozu. You really have no talent whatsoever."

How long had I been swallowed up inside Hundun? It had to have been several days by now. I'd been training in this world for quite a while, but I couldn't tell exactly how long.

"Nothing for it. Let's take another break. Tonight's dinner is nikujaga."

When San-senpai chuckled wryly, a dining set and a steaming, delicious-looking pot of nikujaga materialized out of nowhere. Complete with miso soup, white rice, and even a few sheets of nori.

"...Looks ridiculously good again today. Thanks for the food!"

This was apparently another power of Hundun. Inside this space, San-senpai could bring into existence anything she wished that "wasn't" there. ...With an ability like this, of course she'd hole up in a futon all day.

"Ahh... there's nothing like home cooking. The rice at the District 12 bazaar is a pretty different variety from Japanese rice, so it never quite hits the spot. ...Well, it's good in its own way, though."

"Indeed. Young people should eat lots."

This Hundun could even generate time itself. Meaning that even if they spent days living here, barely any time passed in the outside world.

"Still, though—the other me is playing dirty, isn't he?"

I'd lost seventy-two consecutive fights to the copy of myself that the Hundun had created. And it wasn't exactly a fair matchup—I went in bare-fisted every time, while that thing pulled out a gun—a Gunscar—and shot me through the forehead.

"I'm honestly pretty surprised by that too, actually."

"Really?"

"What I made 'exist' was the shadow of your heart, Kotoyorozu. An entity with the exact same specs as you. There's no way he can use a Gunscar and you can't. That shouldn't be possible."

I materialized a Gunscar in my palm. But the bullets it fired were utterly useless—even when I shot my copy in the head, they didn't leave so much as a scratch. Talk about a handicap match.

"Did you figure anything out over these past few days?"

"...Not a thing."

"God. You really are hopeless. You're as slow a learner as Koito."

"Well, these last few days were still fun, at least. You're a good person, San-senpai."

"...Well, I can't say it was entirely unenjoyable for me either."

That was good to hear. San-senpai seemed like a pretty lonely person, deep down. Over these past several days, she'd been quite attentive and considerate—I was genuinely grateful.

"Kotoyorozu. What do you want to become?"

"I want to... be like a light novel protagonist."

"Why?"

"I mean, wouldn't that be great? Seems like a ton of fun."

"Why isn't the current you good enough? You're in school. You've made friends. Goal achieved. No?"

When she put it that way—she was technically right. ...But, for some reason—

(I still feel like I haven't fulfilled my dream at all.)

Why was that?

"Is that why... I can't use my Gunscar?"

"Wrong. You already know the answer. You're just pretending not to. Just running scared."

She peered into my eyes with terrifying certainty.

"Honestly, I don't think staying here any longer will do you much good."

"...Huh?"

"The timing's off. You're probably sick of talking to yourself by now. Right?"

She was right. I'd had more than enough time to talk to myself. Back in that dark basement. I'd spent a nauseating amount of time confronting my guilt and my fear.

"Kotoyorozu. Your training is in the outside world. Making friends, experiencing happy things and sad things, and seeing yourself reflected in the light of the world around you—that's how you'll learn your own shape. That's all you can do."

I could see into other people's hearts. But I couldn't do what she did—pinpoint things about myself that even I didn't know. Her sensitivity as a receiver was on a completely different level. I kind of wanted to be like her.

"But is that really okay? Me not being able to use my Gunscar..."

"Kotoyorozu. The Angel of Gunscar is not a benevolent being."

"...Huh?"

"It's still an Apocalypse at the end of the day, isn't it? Something humans were never meant to touch. The more Gunscars you carry, the more you use them, the more your body gets eroded by Anti-Reality, by Yearning, by Directionality."

San-senpai continued, her sharp gaze unwavering.

"That's what happened to me. A long time ago, I pushed myself too far. On a certain mission, I tried too hard to protect everyone. I exceeded my limits, and my body was eroded by Anti-Reality. My mind started rewriting my body. It's called subject-object reversal."

"Your mind... rewrites your body?"

"It's basically a side effect of Gunscars. Or rather, it's a phenomenon commonly seen with Anti-Reality in general. The reason Anti-Reality organizations are full of crazy, unhinged people? This is mostly why."

She produced a teapot and cup from thin air and poured me some tea.

"By the time people turn twenty, most give up their Gunscars. Gunscars are poison. The stronger the wish, the worse the poison."

"Gunscars and Slashes are basically only carried by students, after all."

"...You're actually lucky you can't use your Gunscar. If you wielded a Gunscar without truly understanding your own wish, that would be incredibly dangerous. You'd wreck your body in no time."

The girl who'd been split into four personalities—who had to spend most of her life asleep—smiled with a hint of self-deprecation. ...Normal life was already beyond her reach. That was why Koito-senpai kept Wu-senpai registered under the Koito squad until the very last moment.

"What was your wish, San-senpai?"

"Mine? That's easy. —For everyone to live their days in peace."

"..."

"If nobody gets hurt, that's good enough for me. Everything else—doesn't matter."

That was exactly like this gentle world itself, I thought.

(My wish, huh...)

What did I even want to do from here?

* * *

"Kakaka! Mehleeza! You're such small fry, small fry!"

I, Mehleeza Janebekova, was struggling in this Hundun battle.

"Go, my wind!"

The arena was set above a vast lake. A world shrouded in Gray Mist. Far off in the distance, an enormous whale drifted lazily through the air. I had been fighting nonstop for days.

"Aye!"

A bullet burst from the long barrel of Chalquiruq in rifle form with a tremendous roar.

"Your power's way too weak! —Hah!"

That bullet — capable of punching through thick concrete — Ar Xihan, one of Wu Xihan-senpai's personalities, flicked away with the back of her hand.

"This level of firepower — anyone with even a little Anti-Reality skill wouldn't need a ritual to deal with it."

"This one's bullets are not so cheap!"

"Kakaka. Mehleeza, your role is just supporting Koito? Then cheap bullets are fine."

"This one said they are not cheap!"

Ar-senpai casually brought a marble into an "existing" state, then flicked it with her fingertip.

"Wha—"

It tore through the air at tremendous speed, but Chalquiruq's armor deflected it effortlessly.

"That was my full power just now. Your armor didn't even budge! Kaka!"

"That's..."

"Chalquiruq — what kind of Yearning does your Gunscar come from?"

I thought about it. The meaning of Chalquiruq. It came from the noble white horse I'd once seen on the steppe. From wanting to become like my mother, who had set out alone to the demon realm to save my father.

"Chalquiruq is a Gunscar for 'going anywhere.'"

"...Yes. That's why it becomes a mount. So I can go to any Otherworld."

"Then do that. That alone is more than enough. Kakaka!"

Ar-senpai grinned. I felt like I'd grasped something. This sniper rifle was a form meant to protect Koito-senpai — that reckless person.

(Then what form do I take when I fight alone?)

During the last mission — the battle against the Guardian. If I had been stronger, Luna-san and Kotoha-kun wouldn't have ended up so battered.

(If my Chalquiruq could truly go anywhere, in the fullest sense—)

That's right. I could. Of course I could. Anywhere — without anyone standing in my way — I could go!

"—Ar-senpai. One more round, if you please."

"Kakaka! Bring it on!"

I gripped Chalquiruq tight.

* * *

"Shamshir!"

I — Koshiba Nyao — had been fighting in a bamboo grove. My opponent was Su Xihan-senpai, one of Wu Xihan-senpai's personalities, wearing a revealing purple cheongsam.

"...Jumping up to escape... I read that... coming."

"...!?"

Su-senpai launched herself skyward with terrifying leg strength, then stuck right to my back.

"...Your hand-to-hand... way too sloppy... right?"

"Eek—"

Even in that unstable midair position, Su-senpai used the recoil off a nearby stalk of bamboo to execute a martial arts master's movement and kicked me in the back of the head. My consciousness went blank for an instant as I slammed into the ground. I died.

"Koshiba... your Shamshir... high completeness... You understand your own Yearning..."

For reference, unlike Wu-senpai, Su-senpai's distinguishing trait was mumbling with a strangely dark expression.

"...Shamshir... versatile Gunscar. Flip side is... not many standout strengths..."

That was true. At least in combat. Koshiba's Shamshir couldn't destroy everything like Koito-senpai's, and it wasn't as free as Mef-senpai's.

"You... only way is to grow your adaptability... Building winning patterns... important..."

"Winning patterns... you mean?"

"...Depending on the opponent's... fighting style... you fight with a strategy they absolutely can't beat... Build up your library of winning patterns, build and build and build... then finally... you're an average fighter."

Adapting to the opponent's actions while choosing actions they couldn't counter. That was a way of thinking Koshiba hadn't really had before. Or rather — something she just hadn't been able to put into words.

"You're weak. ...Win by any means necessary. ...Otherwise, you won't be able to protect them again, you know?"

The word "again." It pierced straight through my heart.

"...You stepped on Koshiba's landmine."

"Again." "Again." "Again"...? "Again" — Koshiba won't allow it.

"From here on, Koshiba's going slum style!"

She surrendered to a fury so intense her blood felt like it was boiling. She was going to destroy every single one of them!

"...Should've gone... all out... from the start..."

Facing Su Xihan-senpai, who radiated killing intent, Koshiba aimed her gun.

* * *

The inside of the packed dome was filled with a staggering wave of heat.

"Ladies and gentlemen! At long last! The day! The moment has finally arrived!"

Today was the day of the Representative Battle.

Two girls appeared on the monitor above the massive Square — the arena — at the center.

"The Three Great Academies Joint Sky Tournament! The final crowning battle begins now!"

Nearly overwhelmed by the crowd's incredible fervor, I watched from the competitor bench. The competitor area was filled with a somehow pleasant kind of tension.

"Your commentator is the life of the party from Chaos Institute — Isis Hareed here!"

"And your analyst is none other than me, the King of Corporations! Student Council President Amelia McBeal, doing her best!"

The two girls on the monitor continued their commentary in buoyant, almost giddy voices, as if channeling the arena's energy.

"The Representative Battle is a five-match round robin! The academy with the most wins takes the championship!"

"This basically decides the power balance between academies for the whole year! As president, my stomach hurts just thinking about it."

"The winning academy of the Representative Battle tends to see especially high growth rates that year — any thoughts on that?"

"Win, please! I'm begging you! Please just win!"

After their special training with Wu-senpai, both Mef and Koshiba had a different look in their eyes. They must have gone through grueling training too, and come back stronger for it.

"First match — Corporations versus Azure Academy! How do you see this matchup, President Amelia?"

"Going by the odds, Corporations wins 4-1, right?"

"Oh my! So Azure Academy loses every match except Koito the third-year?"

"Team Koito's members have abilities geared toward exploration and anti-Apocalypse work, and their kit is pretty well known. Since Corporations' abilities are tuned for one-on-one and competition-style fighting, they've got the edge."

Smoke blasted across the runway. That was the signal for the first match's fighters to enter. I looked at the small girl sitting beside me. She was quiet, but her eyes burned.

"..."

Koshiba was deftly fidgeting with Shamshir in her hands.

"Nyao."

Suddenly, Koito-senpai slapped her on the back — hard.

"That's an order! Win this!"

"...Captain's always giving impossible orders."

But, she murmured softly, and started walking.

"Yes, ma'am! ...So that Koshiba can keep standing by your side!"

Koshiba broke into a run. Her speed built until she was sprinting like the wind. She leapt nimbly onto the competitor platform in front of the massive transparent Square — the simulator where they'd fight.

"Koshiba Nyao! RANK 102! The promising first-year from Azure Academy makes her entrance!"

In that instant, the roar of fifty thousand people filled the arena.

"Go get 'em! Crush those money-grubbers! Show 'em what barbarians are made of!"

"You can do it! You got this! Go, go, go!"

Shouldering the hopes of all of Azure Academy, Koshiba plugged the simulator cable into her spine.

"Melvin Gray! RANK 47! A dominant force across countless tournaments!"

"A.k.a. 'the Bounty Hunter!' Gray-chan's won championship after championship in unrestricted ability combat. She looks all serious with those glasses, but her tactics are absolutely brutal."

At the same time, the gray-haired girl — Gray — plugged her own simulator into her nervous system.

Inside the pure white, transparent box — the Square — the forms of Koshiba and Gray materialized.

"Good day, Koshiba Nyao. Still as short as ever."

"And you are? Sorry, Koshiba doesn't bother remembering small fry."

The two of them glared daggers at each other as the commentators launched into the rules.

"The rules are simple — one match, no time limit. Stage is random. Note: if the fight exceeds ten minutes, a Penalty Dice will activate. Victory condition is the opponent's death."

Amid the frenzy, the two stood still, quietly watching each other.

"Match start in — five! Four! Three!"

The entire arena joined the countdown. At the same time, the space surrounding the two fighters inside the Square began dissolving into golden particles.

"Koshiba Nyao. What do you stand on this stage for?"

"...For someone important to me."

A pistol appeared in Koshiba's palm. —Shamshir. The Gunscar that swapped positions.

"That person walks the hardest road of anyone. Koshiba wants to walk right behind her."

"..."

"For that reason! Koshiba can't afford to lose to any of you!"

Melvin Gray silently adjusted her glasses, and wings unfurled from her back.

"I see. —We're probably not so different, you and I."

The countdown on the monitor hit zero. In that instant, both of them vanished. At the same time, the inside of the Square dissolved completely, and in less than a blink, structures materialized. It was — an abandoned school.

"Time is 'daytime'! Stage is 'Abandoned School'! Game — start!"

A loud buzzer rang out, and a gunshot echoed with it.