"Young... Young Master, could Xiao Chan... could I stay here tonight...?"
Her voice was mosquito-quiet, but the room was still enough that Ning Yi heard her fine. He thought a moment while she stood clutching her hem, face burning.
"Um... um... Brother and Sister-in-law... they didn't set up a room for me, they... they..." She bit her lip, stole a glance at him, then suddenly sucked in a breath. "And... and Young Miss told me to serve Young Master..."
"Hmm?"
She'd started fast but faded to nothing by the end, face bright red, swaying on her feet—much more and she'd probably pass out. Ning Yi smiled and took her left hand. Her fingers felt strangely both stiff and limp. In the lamplight, she sat on the bed's edge looking lost. He held her hand until she calmed down a bit.
"Does Xiao Chan... want this too?"
"Yes." She nodded fast, looked at him, kept nodding. "Young Master's... a good person, treats me well, treats Young Miss well too, so... so... besides, I was always meant to be a chamber maid..."
After a moment, Ning Yi smiled. "It's a lifetime thing."
He said it quietly, casually, then nothing. She sat there silent for a bit before looking up. "Well... it is a lifetime thing..." Matter-of-fact, no hesitation. He nodded and smiled. "Let me go close the window."
The window faced the courtyard—occasional sounds drifted in. While Ning Yi went to look out, Xiao Chan raised her hands and undid one button. Then stopped, lowered her hands, tried to look casual. Glanced at him, raised her hands for the second button. By the time he turned back, she was on the fourth.
The sleeping clothes were simple and soft without many buttons anyway. Under his gaze, she undid the fifth and the top fell open, showing her white lotus-embroidered dudou¹. She lowered her head, tugged at her clothes. "Young Master..." Pitiful little voice. He brought the lamp over.
"Can you sleep... on the inside?"
"Mm." She nodded, bent to take off shoes and socks. Hesitated getting on the bed, then shyly slipped off her top. Silence. In just her dudou and white silk pants, she folded the clothes, set them on the foot-of-bed stool, then crawled to the inside with her head down and lay on her side—bare back to him, though everything was so strange and new that even this took all her courage. Her skin was probably pink everywhere. She rolled over and lay stiff as a board, narrow shoulders pulled tight. Hands at her sides, then crossed over her dudou, then... where to put them? She turned to look at him.
He'd taken off his robe too and climbed in. When their eyes met, hers froze—she looked away fast, heart hammering, waiting for him to do something. He leaned over, reached out, and pulled... a hairpin.
She'd washed up earlier and pinned her damp hair, but forgot in her nervous undressing. Now he loosened her hair, set the pin on the bedside stool, blew out the lamp, and lay down. Faint light in the room. He seemed stiff too—shifting left, right, onto his side. After a bit he actually laughed. She was dying: "Young... Young Master... you don't want me...?"
Ning Yi lay there looking at the mosquito netting. "I just realized—you could get pregnant."
"No... I won't... I definitely won't have a baby before Young Miss does. I'll take medicine, the medicine prevents it..."
That hit a nerve—she propped up, shaking her head hard. He sighed. "That's what worries me... that medicine wrecks your body, and you're only fifteen..."
"Almost... almost sixteen..."
"Mm, too much of that stuff causes problems later. You're not taking it." He pulled her down into his arms—such a small body—then laughed again. "Lifetime commitment... gonna be a rough night, haha..."
Probably her first time being held by a man, especially nearly naked in just her dudou. Stiff body, blank mind, but thinking "I'm his, I'm his..." she slowly relaxed against him, confused. "But... but... Young Master..."
"Ah... let's just chat instead..."
"Huh?"
"Xiao Chan... you get along okay with your folks and your brother and sister-in-law?"
"...Actually, I don't really know."
"Oh? How so..."
"I only come back once a year or two. All my time at the Su family, it's maybe ten days total... But they're still family..."
"Of course... You think they were wrong to sell you?"
"No way! If they hadn't sold me, who knows where I'd be now... We couldn't make it back then. The Su family's my family too now—Young Miss, Sister Juan'er and Xing'er, and Young Master..."
"Hehe..."
"Actually, Dad loved drinking and never worked much. Once I started sending money, he quit farming completely—just drank and bragged all day... Mom works hard but she's cheap. I bring pastries, she'll take one bite then sneak-wrap the rest 'for later'—probably molds before she touches it. Sister-in-law's materialistic but treats Brother well. Brother's always dreaming of big city success. Says marrying the next village's prettiest girl proves he's got skills..."
"Not as pretty as Xiao Chan."
"Hee..."
"Human nature. Your brother could make a decent clerk, sister-in-law could handle accounts, your mom could run a household. Today at the funeral she was managing all kinds of little things and people listened—them telling her not to help means they see how hard she works. If your dad were alive, he'd probably make a decent front-desk manager, heh..."
"Young Master just says nice things. A shop like that would go bust for sure... Though Young Miss says the same—everyone's useful somehow. Mom really is capable though..."
"Wouldn't fail with you there. Figuring out your family from just ten-some days total—you're the capable one..."
"Then isn't Young Master even more capable? You only met them once..."
"Just going with the flow. Scholars are good at BS..."
"So my brother can't be a shop assistant and sister-in-law can't manage accounts..."
"Heh..."
"Oh right, Young Master, even though I was sold at four and don't remember much from before, there's this really interesting place..."
"..."
They rambled on and on like that. In remote Nanting Village, the main house funeral hall still glowed while everything else lay dark. Stars watched from above, guarding the sleeping earth...
Ning Yi had an erotic dream.
Well, that was perfectly normal.
The night tested them both. But in this era, pregnancy and childbirth or contraception and abortion—both wrecked a fifteen-year-old girl's health. Hence his sighs and dark humor.
Chamber maids couldn't have kids before the wife—rich family rules. So when he mentioned it, Xiao Chan panicked and swore she'd never have a baby before Young Miss. He didn't care, but everyone else did, she did, which complicated things.
He had desires like anyone, but restraint and logic ruled his character now. After experiencing everything life offered, finding some woman for release meant about as much as taking care of it himself. No point being dramatic about Xiao Chan—decision made, he'd handle the responsibility. Just tonight, before Su Tan'er, it became an issue.
They chatted like that till late before finally sleeping.
Xiao Chan woke up early, opening her eyes while it was still dark.
They were covered by a thin blanket.
Ning Yi held her against his chest, her bare back pressed to him, his arms wrapped around her from behind while she hugged his arms. Her heart felt warm.
This night held special meaning for her—feelings of warmth, of belonging, and of course plenty of shyness and anticipation. Too bad Young Master worried pregnancy would hurt her health...
Waking, she just soaked in the warmth at first. Then her face went red as other thoughts crept in.
During the Su family wedding, Su Tan'er already had status—she could ignore it all, throw fits, even flee that day. Not Xiao Chan. She, Juan'er, and Xing'er had been learning certain things back then—awkward, half-understood stuff that made them blush but chamber maids had to know. Later she'd stayed on, the live-in son-in-law had no status, Young Miss showed no interest in that side of things, so they'd buried it all. For young maids, even thinking about it was mortifying.
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